9:30 AM Mom calls with contx 5 minutes apart. This is her second birth with us, and she has a family history of having very quick labors. Her last birth was normal in length, not really fast, but not long either. She lives about 1 ½ hours away, so I didn’t want to wait too long. I had appointments this day, so I called and canceled them and headed out to a birth.
When I arrived I saw mom outside doing yard work, I thought, okay, this doesn’t look like a mom that is moving through labor very quickly, and I was right. The good thing is we were out in the country, so it was a nice leisurely day as we waited for labor to progress. We went to a ride into town to the little produce market and got a few groceries for dinner, (it was noon, but we know we’d be there for dinner).
7:30 PM labor finally picked up and contx were much stronger now. Mom had to work through them with a bit more effort. Still only wanting her husbands support we stayed in the front room to offer support when she needed it.
11:30 PM Mom wanted to get into the birth tub to help manage the intensity of contx. We warmed the water to about 98 degrees, and mom was very happy to finally emerge herself in water.
12:00 AM Mom continues to work through contx, still really only wanting her husbands support, but we can tell that it is getting close. The tub was in the dining room and she had a curtain set up as a privacy curtain in between the dining area and the front room. As we listen to mom’s breath, we could hear a little catch in it as she breathes through contx. This lets us know that the baby is coming down and mom will soon feel an urge to push her baby out.
1:00 AM Mom is actively pushing now. There is a little anterior cervical lip just at the top of baby’s head, as she has another contx and pushes we hold the lip back so the head can come down in front of it. Within a few minutes of pushing we see the head crowning, and mom VERY slowly and with VERY controlled pushes, gently pushes her baby’s head out. The head doesn’t rotate, so we ask her to turn over on her hands and knees, this opens the pelvic a bit more to make more room for baby to come through. This rotation opened up the way for baby to be born. Because of mom’s gentle, slow and controlled pushing she doesn’t tear, and Mom and dad welcomed their son at 1:17 AM
When things don’t go according to “our” plan, we often wonder why? As we look hindsight, we find this WAS the plan after all, we just didn’t see it clearly. Looking back with 20/20 vision is very enlightening. I’m grateful for that enlightenment, because it helps us understand the events that we didn’t plan for, and it helps us grasp a hold of the lessons that are there for us to learn from.
8:30 AM Mom calls with contx, they have been very regular, every 5 minutes for a couple of hours. We visit on the phone, and she is doing great. She is going about her regular activity and will call me when there is a change. Three hours later I go over to her house to check on her and babe. All is well, she is working well with contx, and not needing me there, so I send mom and dad out to walk, and I head back home. We are in contact with each other throughout the day as she continues to have contx getting a little stronger and closer together.
9:00 PM I arrive at her home after she calls and feels like she would like me there now. She is having strong contx 3-5 minutes, I check dilation and she is 6 cm and 90% effaced. This would be considered “active labor”. For the next several hours’ mom and dad labor together, dad doesn’t leave her side, he is very devoted and treats his wife like the queen she is. My two assistants and myself continue to give labor support, checking heart rate, and take our turns resting. I could give an hour-by-hour detailed story of the next six hours, but it would be suffice to say that mom and dad are an amazing team. The two of them went from the tub to the bed to the toilet and back again several times, while eating lightly to keep energy levels up and keeping well hydrated.
4:00 AM Mom is feeling like she wants to push, she is feeling some pressure and pushing feels better. Mom tries for a bit to push, but we aren’t seeing any progress, so I check her, and she feels complete, but baby has moved up out of the pelvic a little bit. I suggest she lay on her side, with one leg propped up on a stool with pillows; sometimes this helps to bring the baby down. Mom continues to lie on her side for bit, then up to the bathroom to do a few contx on the toilet, and then back to laying on her other side.
9:00 AM Mom is back in the tub, she complains of incredible back pain, and not able to support her back in the tub, so dad gets in with her, to give back support and allow mom to rest on him in between contx.
11:30 AM Mom is feeling like she needs to push again, so I check for cervical dilation, and she is back to 9 cm., but baby had moved back down into the pelvic. I can feel a bulging bag of water and mention to mom that we can break it, and this will probably help have a baby sooner, as I mentioned this her cervix closed down a couple of cm, so I decided it wasn’t a good idea to break her bag of waters at this time, (for some reason I felt I wasn’t supposed to do this), I suggested we go a head and let it be, and tell mom it shouldn’t be much longer.
12:30 PM Contx are very strong with bringing with them a strong urge to push. I encouraged mom to push through a few contx on the toilet, and then back to the bed. She wanted to go back to the tub, but earlier I had an impression we were not going to do a water birth. I couldn’t tell you why, just that I felt we were to go to the bed. So I encouraged mom to go to the bed, we would check her one more time just to make sure the entire cervix was gone and it was okay to push.
1:30 PM Still only dilated 9 cm, with a bulging bag of water, so we decided to go a head and break it this time. When we did, the amniotic fluid was stained with meconium. Meconium is normally stored in the infant's intestines until after birth, but sometimes (often in response to fetal distress) it is expelled into the amniotic fluid prior to birth, or during labor. If the baby then inhales the contaminated fluid, respiratory problems may occur.
There are different degrees of meconium, and this was the most severe. Amniotic fluid is usually clear, but this looked more like chunky pea soup. My assistant and I looked at each other, not wanting to alarm mom and dad, but they knew something was up. I wanted to make sure my assistant and I were on the same page about transporting before I said something to mom and dad. It was clear to me that baby wasn’t coming down through the birth canal anytime soon, so we discussed a transport to the local hospital. We discussed calling an ambulance, but it didn’t appear to be an “emergency”. I felt we had plenty of time, and baby sounded GREAT. Heart tones were proving to be very strong and responsive, so we packed up and drove to the hospital in our own vehicle.
When a situation calls for a transport like this, I call a head to the hospital and talk to the Doctor on call. I let him know that I have a patient I am bringing in; I give him the pertinent details, and ask to have a room ready for her. I bring with me a transport form that gives the information needed about labor history and why I am transporting. I come in with my client and I am with her throughout her labor. I continue to give labor support and act as an advocate for my clients. I help bridge the gap between home and hospital. This transition can be a very difficult time for both parents. We came from a home environment where everything is natural and familiar to the hospital where nothing is natural or familiar. We are in the hospital because there is a problem and mom and or baby needs to be very closely monitored. Now there are IV’s, monitors, machines, catheters, no eating or drinking, everything but natural.
2:30 PM We arrive at the hospital, get checked into a room, and settled in. The nurse checks for dilation and mom is still 9 cm. I am thrilled, because sometimes just the transport and all the emotions and fear that go along with it will close the cervix down a bit, but not this time. The nurse asked mom on a scale from 1-10 with 1 being nothing 10 being most severe, what was her pain level at. Mom said a 5! I couldn’t believe this, she was handling these contx, as if they were nothing, and anyone who has been through labor knows that when you are that close to complete, contx are VERY intense. The nurse commented that mom acted like she had an epidural in.
4:00 PM The nurse checked mom’s cervix and said she was complete and could start pushing. We are excited and doing the “Happy Dance”. This is great news! Mom pushes with great strength, for about an hour. It’s now the change of shift and a new nurse comes on.
5:00 PM New nurse checks mom’s cervix and says she’s 9 cm. She asks the charge nurse to come in and double check, sure enough she is back to 9 cm. They have mom roll to her side, and breathe through contx for ANOTHER hour. Can you say AMAZING, because that is definitely what this mom is! Her strength is incredible! In her mind she intuitively feels she should have a c-section, she has felt this from the time we drove to the hospital, but she keeps on going and doing exactly what the nurses tell her.
6:00 PM Mom has had enough; she is tired, and doesn’t feel like she can do this anymore. I give her a pep talk, and go get the nurse. The charge nurse comes in to check her one more time, and again she is complete. The nurse continues to give vaginal support while mom pushes with all her strength. Dad and I are holding her legs up and back for her and counting her breaths as she pushes. During the hour and half, Doctor is in and out a couple of times checking progress, and mom continues to find strength she had no idea she had.
7:30 PM The Doctor orders pitocin for mom to help create even stronger contx to hopefully bring baby down. Mom is directed to NOT push during these, again VERY STRONG contx to give pitocin enough time to work. I encouraged dad to go to a vending machine and grab a snack and take a 10-minute break, he comes back 5 minutes later with a sack lunch the nurse hooked him up with. The nurse came in with one for me as well, and I have to say, food never looked or tasted so good. Neither of us had eaten all day.
7:45 PM Mom resumes pushing; I can’t even imagine how tired she is, no, how EXAHSTED she is, but somehow she finds what little energy there is left and continues to push.
8:15 PM The nurse went to get the Doctor and brief him on her progress, I knew this wasn’t good. Doctor came in and sure enough the baby was still just as high in the birth canal as it was when we came in several hours before. He discussed her lack of progress despite her efforts, and his recommendation was a c-section. He wanted to give her until 9:00 PM, but mom said, NO! She really felt like the only way this baby was coming out was through a c-section, so by 8:30 PM everyone consented to a c-section. Preparations were made, and into the OR she went.
After a VERY long and strenuous labor, this AMAZING Mom and Dad welcomed a sweet baby boy 8 lbs 4 oz, at 9:04 PM by c-section, baby was posterior, (face up).
20/20 VISION:
As I look back on this experience there are details that come to my mind that give me hints of the outcome. I don’t think these hints are meant to second guess myself, or kick myself because “it was right there, why didn’t I see it?” I think they are there to help us understand this was the plan all along for some reason, and there was nothing you could have done to change things, a kind of resolve.
When I first met this mom, something struck me just slightly that we would be transporting. I quickly put that thought out of my mind, I can’t tell you why I thought this, it was just a flash that came and went very quickly. As I got to know her more intimately through our prenatal visits, I was impressed by her outlook on life and was pleased to have met someone with such a like mind as mine. (This doesn’t happen very often). Wrinkles were smoothed out in my mind, and I became very excited for this birth, I knew it would be wonderful and this mom had something to teach me.
In one of our prenatals we discussed making a “mind movie”. This is much like a creation board; only it is in a slide show presentation with music. It was to represent everything you expect your birth to be like. We talked about making it as personal as she could, because the more personal the more powerful. She came the next prenatal and shared it with me. I was impressed that she followed through with this suggestion. It was beautiful, and very personal; the one thing I noticed right away was there weren’t any pictures of “home birth”. In my mind I thought of having pictures of women laboring at home, birth tubs, midwifes, etc., but that aspect wasn’t there. Again, it was beautiful and very personal, with lots of GREAT affirmations, but that main aspect was missing.
I didn’t want her in the tub to have this baby, why? Probably 75% of my babies are water births. I love water births, but this one didn’t feel right. I’m glad mom’s water broke on the bed instead of in the water. It might have looked more diluted, and I may have not thought it was as dark stained as it really was.
I wanted to break her bag of waters the first time I checked and she was dilated 7 cm, but something stopped me. Why? I don’t know, but I do know there was lots of divine communication going on here, lots of messages coming through. This labor was one that many angels attended bringing with them a powerful love, strength and most of all protection.
This baby was posterior, and that makes for a very long, hard labor. It also makes it hard for baby to fit into the birth canal. It’s like fitting a tight puzzle together. I don’t think baby was posterior the whole time. It think he turned around 4:00 AM when I checked mom and felt baby had moved up and out of the pelvic. Why? Again, I don’t know, was there a short cord, was it a weak cord, was it wrapped around him, was the cord in a space that it would compress coming down the birth canal? Did we just need to be in the hospital for baby’s sake? Baby stayed in the hospital for a few days; did mom need to deliver there, as not to be separated from baby? I don’t know these answers, but what I do know, is this baby is very smart, he helped us make the choice to transport when we did, he knew what he had to do to help us make that choice, and I have no regrets about that. For whatever reasons, I know this birth happened just the way it was supposed to happen, and we were all divinely guided.
I also know, this mom is TRULY one of the most AMAZING mom’s I know. This was an incredibly long labor, and with her innate knowledge of knowing this baby would be born by c-section at 1:30 PM as we were driving to the hospital, and still giving it her all, finding strength and energy she didn’t know she had for HOURS longer, not giving up, truly enduring to the end with grace, and with what looked like ease, but we all know it wasn’t ease at all.
It’s my dad’s birthday today and I want him to know how much I love and appreciate him. Thank you for being such a great example to me dad! I love you SO much! Happy Birthday!
It’s a perfect day to welcome a perfect sweet baby!
Be warned, it's a LONG story
Mom was having contx and some spotting, so she came to see me. I checked her to put her mind at ease. She wasn’t dilated yet, and spotting was very minimal. Baby’s heartbeat was strong. I explained that sometimes as you efface and dilate, small capillaries break and can cause small spotting. I teach mom’s to check their own cervix if they are comfortable with that, and sometimes this can irritate the cervix a little and cause spotting also. I liken effacement and dilation to sucking on a lifesaver. As the lifesaver gets thinner, this is like effacement, and as the hole gets bigger, this is like dilation.
After checking mom’s cervix this is what I felt was causing the spotting, it appeared to be very normal. The other advice I gave mom is to hydrate herself. Dehydration will cause contx prematurely and give you a false sense of labor. It is in everyone’s best interest if you don’t start into labor dehydrated.
I was pleasantly surprised to wake up Sunday morning with a good nights sleep. Contx continued all day and it was time for the midwife to come. As I turned down her street I had in my mind their house was the second one in. They told me to pull into the driveway and park under the basketball hoop. I thought it was kind of funny that they wanted to me park here, but didn’t have the garage door open like they said they would, they must have forgotten. I grabbed all my bags from the back of car; I try to only make one trip, which means I have full arms. I walked around to the front of the house, struggled to open the gate with full arms, went to the door and knocked. No one answered, but that doesn’t surprise me, I’m sure they are busy, so I knock and walk in with a “helloooooo”. Some women whom I didn’t recognize says, "Aaaa…...can I help you"? Instantly I realize I’m in the WRONG house! I’m tripping out the door over my apologies; I can’t believe I have just WALKED into some stranger's house hollering helloooo like I owned the place. Oh my goodness, I was sooooo embarrassed! This strange women is trying to help me with directions, I assure I know exactly where I’m going, NOT! It turns out these two houses are identical and I was supposed to go to the 2nd house from the end of the street, not the 2nd from the beginning of the street. Sure enough the house I supposed to be at had the garage door open for me, this time, as I’m a little skittish, I knocked and waited for an answer! I took a couple of deep breaths, and no one was any wiser.
So…now for the birth story.
4:30 PM - I checked mom’s cervix and I was excited to report that she was dilated 7-8 cm. and 90% effaced. She had a gush of water around 4:00 PM that we suspected was her bag of waters. I called my assistant to let her know it was time to come NOW and quickly. I prepared the room for the birth, and filled the garden tub as this is where she wanted to birth.
5:15 PM - Mom is feeling a VERY strong urge to push. I called my assistant again to affirm she was almost here. She said she was still about 20 minutes out. I encouraged mom to get in the tub to help her relax and get ready to welcome her baby. With the reality of her baby being born soon, fear came showing its face also. As we talked about what she might be afraid of, and I reassure her everything is going perfect. Baby has a strong, happy heartbeat, but fear is a strong emotion, and there is a shift.
6:00 PM - I checked her cervix to see what exactly was going on, and I was surprised to find she had closed down to 1 cm! Now, I can’t tell mom this, she would be devastated, I just said, she had closed down a bit, and so for the next several contx we would just breathe through them as we had before.
9:00 PM - Transition finally comes. Again, LOTS of hormones being released, mom is shaking uncontrollable, contx one on top of the other, with no break in between. Once again we set the room up for birth.
9:30 PM - Another shift, hormones gone, urge to push is gone, contx backed off. I check her cervix, (I’ve already done more vaginal exams in this one partial labor than I normally do in 2-3 complete labors) and find her cervix is 3 cm dilated! I can’t believe this is happening. The common thread in both shifts is FEAR. There is actually a lot of emotions playing out here. A little back ground history…mom and dad have been separated most of this pregnancy due to the military. When you are not with your partner through a pregnancy there can be some startling reality checks when you come together again. Mom has been through the physical part of pregnancy. It is her body that has changed drastically, she has experienced the aches and pains, the tiny bladder, the absent-minded memory, among many other physical changes, but dad hasn’t. This can cause mom to feel unappreciated for what she is going through, and dad is feeling left out of the loop and in denial.
I’m not saying this is what was going on emotionally with this mom and dad, because I really don’t know. But there was certainly something going on and it was powerful enough to digress labor from nearing the end to nearing the beginning.
After this cervical check, I told mom and dad straight up what was going on with her cervix. We talked about fear, about relationships, about any dynamic that could be going on subconsciously. I said, what we are doing isn’t working, so lets do something different. Go for a walk outside, away from everyone, just the two of them and talk or go to bed, again just the two of them, and go to sleep. She chose sleep. She took some valerian root tincture to help her relax and went to bed. This is where I took advantage and laid down too.
Rest didn’t last very long. I could hear mom cry so I went into check on her, she was sitting on the toilet crying in a child’s voice, “I want my mommy”. Again a bit of history here… her mom passed away a few years ago, and a schoolteacher took her in as her own and has been a surrogate mom to her every since. That being said, my heart ached for this mom…NOW I was beginning to see a small glimpse of what was going on for this young new mom to be.
I assured her that her mommy was here, she is here in spirit and she is helping her baby find it’s way to be born and would soon be in her arms. We talked about nicknames her mom called her, and songs she sang to her when she was a child. I went for my back of tricks (homeopathy) and found a remedy for fear and grief, two VERY powerful emotions. No wonder her cervix closed down.
Mom and dad settled into a rhythmic labor pattern, surrogate mom was a great help as she supported her and gave her the physical touch that a mom would give. Thank goodness for assistances to take turns laboring with mom so another can rest.
2:00 AM - Mom has been back and forth from bed, hands and knees, to side lying, on the toilet, and sleeping some in between contx. Mom is feeling that STRONG urge to push again, but I’m not about to check her cervix, as I still don’t know for sure that a vaginal exam isn’t what is causing her to shut down. We will know when it’s time when we see a head crowning!
4:00 AM - Mom can’t take it anymore, she can’t help not to push, so reluctantly I check for dilation one more time, she is 7 cm. I tell her no pushing, I encourage her to breathe through these contx and explain that pushing before she is fully dilated can cause the cervix to swell and close down. Then we will have to wait for the swelling to go down and the cervix to open again.
This focused breathing was very difficult and required a lot of help. She looked into my eyes and said, "I can’t do this anymore, it is too hard”. It was just she and I for the last couple of hours, as everyone else was resting. I looked right back at her and said, “Yes you can do this, you are doing this, and you only have to breathe through one contx at a time. When this one is finished, you don’t have to do that one again.” Each minute seemed like an hour. This is such hard work, and I was amazed at this young mom’s strength.
6:15 AM - Mom is begging me to check her AGAIN, so as I repeat in my mind, “I’m grateful she is 10 cm”! I check her cervix once again, and let out a sigh of relief and excitement, as I am dong the “happy dance” she IS complete! I rallied up the birth team, dad and surrogate mom, and finally give mom permission to gently push her baby out.
6:50 AM - We welcome a sweet baby girl weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz.
One phrase among many that my clients hear me say is, “You really come to KNOW just how strong and powerful you are through natural childbirth, and that knowledge tells you, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.” I often say, “Don’t ever doubt your strength, you have just proven to that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING?”
Each birth teaches me lessons and shows me how strong I am too. Each labor has lessons for me. Some are easier than others, and those hard ones reinforce the message personally to me that “I can do anything.”
Sometimes I wonder and ask myself why am I still doing this? Sometimes I think, “I don’t want this responsibility anymore. Sometimes I think I want my life back, but this is my life, my love, and my passion. A massage or a few days away with my family AKA vacation is when I forget about the hard times and this buoys me up to continue with my mission.
I am grateful for my amazing family. Many times I’m sure they have felt that they came second, to my clients, but I have only felt supported and encouraged by them. I’d like to think they are proud of what their mom/wife does, and I think they are. I could not do this without their genuine unconditional love and support.
I’m grateful for my assistants, for the bonds of trust we share. I’m grateful for their skills, as two brains in a stressful and sleep deprivation situation are always better than one.
I am grateful for my skills, I am grateful for my passion to empower women through education and choices. I am honored to have the divinely guided hands that welcome these perfect babies into this world.
Lactation Boosting - Oatmeal, Chocolate Chip & Flaxseed Cookies
(6 dozen cookies)
* 1-cup butter
* 1-cup sugar * 1 cup brown sugar
* 4-tablespoons water
* 2-tablespoons flaxseed meal*
* 2-large eggs * 1 teaspoon vanilla
* 2-cups flour * 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1-teaspoon salt
* 2 tablespoons of brewers yeast* (be generous)
* 3-cups oats, thick cut if you can get them
* 1-cup or more chocolate chips
* 1-cup chopped walnuts (optional)
Directions:
Preheat oven at 375 degrees F.
Mix together 2 tablespoons of flaxseed meal and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes.
Cream (beat well) margarine and sugar.
Add eggs one at a time, and mix well.
Stir flaxseed mixture and add vanilla to the margarine mix.
Beat until blended. Sift together dry ingredients, except oats and chips.
Add to margarine mixture.
Stir in oats then chips.
Scoop or drop onto baking sheet, preferably lined with parchment.
The dough is a little crumbly, so it helps to use a scoop.
Bake 8-12 minutes, depending on size of cookies.
